An intriguing article about Friendship from Pradita one of my WordPress “friends”; I read it and commented on it a few days back but have been thinking about it since then. I believe that at the root of it we make friends based on SHARED VALUES, not our wealth, status, position, race, background. These are the intangibles, the unseens, the immeasurables and part of our belief system. A bit like an onion with layers, behaviour is skin deep, attitudes underneath the layer, then beliefs and finally values at the core. Personally my own strongest values relate to Integrity, Work Ethic, Learning, Respect ……. and reflecting over the past few days recognise that ALL of the people I call “friend” have these values too. Some are wealthy some not, some are English some not, some live near me some don’t, some are highly educated some not ….. but, common values bind us!
A few weeks back, I had an argument with an acquaintance over how we don’t chose friends based on their bank balances. I told her (I’ll call her X), friendship like love, knew no boundaries like money, class, gender and such. While she conceded that it may sometimes be the case in love, she vehemently denied that friendship was entirely unaffected by meaner human mores and conventions. She told me I was naive and idealistic. And then she left me to munch over these questions –
Did I have any super rich friends?
Much as I tried to remember even one, no.
Did I have any poor friends?
Uhhh… much to my shame, I discovered, no.
Oh to be sure, there are variations in how well-endowed one is from the other, and to be sure I have friends from different countries, different backgrounds and religions too, but NONE in the…
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